22 Feb 1944 – 29 May 2015

Salam semua , hope you guys are all fine . We are counting down to the Ramadhan and hopefully we will get to witness it along with Aidilfitri soon after . Too much things have been happening lately , from the natural disasters , sea mishap and road accidents . All i could do was to make dua for the people that have pass on to be granted the highest jannah and place among the pious ones .

That includes my Arwah Nyai or Grandmother , she pass away on the May 29th . 4 days after my 24th birthday . She had a sudden stroke due to fever,only to succumb to death by pneumonia.She spend three days in the intensive unit using life support . Unconscious and not much of a respond .Doctors and nurses predicted that  it won’t be long till she finally leave us . Due to work commitments and deadlines , i didn’t visit her for the first two days . Until the third day , while I was getting ready to work,my mum persuaded me to follow her to the hospital . Don’t know why but on that day ,my heart gave in and told me to text my boss to take emergency leave .

On the way , my mum explained that my auntie who stay over in the hospital was informed by the nurses to quickly gathered the siblings as it won’t be long till the very time .That news was at 5.30am . As she speak , it was around 10 am .  So far so good . No bad news yet . It was very hard time that day to get a cab .Waited for 15 mins  , then we move closer to the bus stop opposite my block . Ohh btw , i stayed in Yew Tee. The taxi stand was full of people . Eventually when bus 302 came , I told my mum to just get on it and we shall see where we will drop at . We drop at the bus stop near to the CCK flyover expressway .There , we also waited quite long for a cab . I tried call booking for so many times , but no taxi is willing to take us in . Finally a taxi drop off his passenger at our bus stop and we get in to NUH hospital .

By this timing , few of my aunties and uncles are already there . Some of them were at work .I understood why they made the decision to work despite a warning from the nurses .Everyday the nurses and doctors would say , ” PREPARE YOURSELVES ,IT WON’T BE LONG ” . First two days , all 7 of her children came by to see her and it turn out to be a false alarm . She was such strong person . Her vital signs were all stable .  So on the third day , they thought it would be the same . That included my dad . That day , he decided to go to work because he have been away for two days and his workload is increasing .

I reach at about 10.30am,salam few of my uncle in the waiting room and i was led by my mum to the room where my Nyai is . The room was cold , inside was my grandfather on his wheelchair  . My two aunties and their kids. I salam them and proceeded to sit beside my Nyai . She look as if she was sleeping , so calm and peaceful but only to be monitored by the machines that is beside her .She was on life support.

By the time I told her i just came , the rest went out to either take a break or take a breather outside . So I read Surah Yassin to her , time goes by so slowly yet so solemn . I took a long time to read coz by the time I read a few lines , I started crying quite badly  . My mum finish faster than me probably she isn’t overcome by sadness that much as she have visited my nyai the days before. It was halfway through out , my mum went out and i continue reading . 10.45am , I finish reading it and there . Her pulse were gone . I knew her time is coming , I looked at the nurses outside and you can guess it right , they came in and told us to be prepared . My auntie told her daughter to call the rest only to have them not picking up the phone. I recited the syahadah,astaufirullah and everything that i remember.  I was helpless as I watched her heartbeat went down  . And you know what they say about closed windows right.

From 72-70, 62-50,35-24

15-7…..

And just like that , my Nyai left us . Right beside me .  I saw the red straight line . I wept as I ran to get my mum in the waiting room . Seeing me cry ,she ran too . She cried beside me , reciting the quran verses . The nurses came in to ask us to leave the room while they check to see if my grandmother have really pass on . They need to check the ventilator and yes , my arwah nyai left us at 10.49am . My grandfather didn’t cried at all in the room , he was the strongest person i ever seen . He was calm , like he redha to whatever just happen . My dad came an hr later and for the first time in my life , I saw my dad cried . It was time for her to go , it was time for her to get her final rest . Her last moments was peaceful , she didn’t jerk or move one bit .

I don’t know if she had  waited for me , for us and i was so so so so thankful i manage to read the last Surah Yassin for us. Just two weeks before she pass on , we held a kenduri arwah for those that have left us. She was well , joyful , able to eat and all even though she had a fall the month before that and not feeling well .

My Grandmother was a beautiful javanese woman , a patient and kind person . Had it not for her , I wouldn’t have my dad . My dad had both his parents attribute but his character as individual followed my late grandmother . We will miss her kuih makmur , sambal sotong , sambal goreng jawa and her epok2 that she shared her passion with my grandfather . Will miss her calling me by first name , Far , Farah or Parhana . You don’t have to be sorry for not attending my wedding , I understand . If seeing me for the last time is how u telling me how sorry u are . Its okay . We are all redha on yr passing . Get a good rest , for we shall see you soon in the time to come . In Jannah insyallah .

To those who perish in the Sabah earthquake , my heart goes out to you too . Including the family members . May allah give them the strength during this difficult times.

“Ya Allah , kau terangakan kuburnya dengan sinaran cahaya nur , lapangkan kubur nya , tempatkanlah beliau di kalangan orang yang beriman . Sampaikan lah doa kami dan rindu kami kepadanya . Dan jauhkan lah beliau dari azab api neraka sesungghuh nya beliau seorang yang baik . Peliharanya dengan sebaiknya” . Amin

I miss you but Ayah miss you more , Nyai Ju xx